Who Is In Your Corner, And How Do You Keep Them There?

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Who Is In Your Corner, And How Do You Keep Them There?

April 22, 2013 Read 51 comments and add your own

Last weekend, a strange thing happened when I drove on the throughway toward Syracuse. I was just driving along minding my own business, listening to my book on CD, and I looked up just in time to see the 329th mile marker.

This strange phenomen happens almost EVERY time I make this drive. (In both directions!) 3/29 is my birthday. It is curious that I would never notice any other ones, but always look up just in time for this one.

It surprises me, because I make the drive so infrequently that I forget to anticipate it.

But, then again, I’m not really surprised. Continue Reading →

Writing To Heal-Words To Heal By

February 18, 2013 Read 29 comments and add your own

Painful feelings expressed into words uncap a pressure and undermine a power that can bring us down. My clients and friends often write me to release this pressure. The proverbial “getting things off your chest” can be just the ticket to get through a hard moment, or a difficult day.

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Getting Rid of Negative Voices In Our Heads

November 7, 2012 Read 20 comments and add your own

The lies we tell ourselves…

Negative voices plague our minds and all too often we mistake them for “truths.” Sometimes self help coaches tell us that “feeling good is a choice,” which doesn’t make sense in this state of mind. If what we think is an unmistakeable truth, how do we have choices? Truth is definitive, there is only one option.

You are stupid. You are ugly. You will never amount to anything. You’re fat.

If we believed these, there would be no hope to be any different. We can conclude that we are and will always be a failure at life.

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The Shirt Off Your Back (Or The Shoes Off Your Feet)

November 5, 2012 Read 34 comments and add your own

You know those folks that people describe as,”He’d give you the shirt off his back!”? I love those people. They are always willing to lend a hand, go the extra mile, put someone else’s comfort before their own.

I had a friend in high school who, when we would get in the car on a frigid Rochester evening, turned all of the heater vents towards me. I don’t now what made him think of doing that but it made me feel so worthy. Continue Reading →

What Is Race?

October 8, 2012 Read 25 comments and add your own

Debunking the competition metaphor.

Monica sent all the bloggers involved in the Race 2012 Blogging Project an email asking if any of us had an answer to commenter, Gregory Bagget’s, question:

What is race, generally, and what is the meaning of race in the title of this blog?

I’ll take a stab at it, Monica!

What is Race?

Race (n.) means both “people of common descent” and “an act of running” if you look it up in the dictionary. In this blog project, we are talking about both meanings. Plus all of the connotational meanings in which “race” is marinated.

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How to Create Rituals

September 13, 2012 Read 19 comments and add your own

These are rocks I used to symbolize a community surrounding a loved one going through a hard time.

We don’t usually think too hard about how to create rituals, since most of the ones that we engage in everyday came from our culture.

I loved the comments and ideas shared after Monday’s post Five Benefits of Ritual. Everyone seemed to understand that we engage in ritual constantly even though there are many names for it. They can also be called habits and routines. We call it writing, praying, exercising, cooking, eating, talking, breathing, kissing, reading, holding hands, watching a TV show, planning, celebrating, laughing, playing, etc, etc.

How to create rituals?

1. Decide to do something consciously. That “something” could be anything–whatever is important to us. Making a commitment, giving ourselves some time to breathe, letting go of hurt, embarking on a new project, or stepping into a new identity. Continue Reading →

A Special Thank You

August 2, 2012 Read 48 comments and add your own

Today I have a special thank you.

I said an intention months ago that came true today. I believed it so readily in my heart, that things would work out, but I wasn’t sure if it was my American sense of entitlement, or my trust in love that made me so sure there would be a happy ending.