How Do You Know You Are Happy?

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How Do You Know You Are Happy?

March 25, 2013 Read 33 comments and add your own

Why is it that people know sadness more than happiness? Why do the negative stories of our lives stand out so much more prominently in our minds than the good stuff? Why do we hear all of the no’s and take the yes’s in stride barely registering them?

When we learn that emotional pain is a state of mind, why isn’t that good news? Why do we go right to judgment, either of self: “If I can’t change this, what is wrong with me?” or judgement of others: “They must not understand how bad it is.” And let that stick us to the negative place even more.

Last night someone said to me, “It is going to be hard.” I said “Why?” He said, “I don’t know, I just made that up in my head.”

Yeah, you did. Who knows how it is going to be? How do you think that will effect you to think it is hard? What if you go through the whole event saying “This is hard, this is hard.” Could fun even find you in that state of mind? Continue Reading →

When Someone You Love Is In Pain

March 11, 2013 Read 22 comments and add your own

When someone you love is in pain, you look for ways to be helpful.

When we love someone so much, it seems harder to see them hurting than to feel hurt ourselves. I find this especially true with my children. I’d gladly take their pain away even if it means I’d feel it stronger. In a way, I am feeling it because I love them but I don’t stay here because besides it doesn’t help them much.

Pain is Love

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Goodbye, Fear. Good Riddance.

January 28, 2013 Read 36 comments and add your own

A few weeks ago, I invited people to write their own goodbye letters to fear on my Anxiety Schmanxiety Blog.

I said:

Write a goodbye letter to fear.

Start with, “Dear Fear,” and let ‘em have it. Name your fears, tell what you have sacrificed, name its tricks and tactics, list your skills and knowledges, tell it what you’d rather do with your life if it no longer held you back. And then hang it in a place where you can see it, so you can read it everyday until the fear is gone.

Readers, what would you like to say? Dear Fear…..

Here are some responses… Watch me read a powerful goodbye letter to fear in this video. Continue Reading →

Speak From The Heart!

January 10, 2013 Read 25 comments and add your own

If you do nothing else in 2013, please know that it is time to speak from the heart. For me, not much is more important. It is time for us to get out of our minds, where competition, blame and fear run our lives and into our bodies that follow the flow of nature. And know how to love.

Photo credit: Mirall

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Finding Balance In A Turbulent World

December 17, 2012 Read 30 comments and add your own

“Let me not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearless in facing them. Let me not beg for the stilling of my pain, but for the heart to conquer it.” ~ Rabindranath Tagore

Finding balance this week may be tricky with all the activity going on. Still tons of people reading and writing about the tragedy in Connecticut, some people stressing over making the holidays special, and many more just trying to survive them after a difficult year of loss or tribulation.

What helps one person make sense of awful, may not be what another needs to hear. In a recent chakras workshop, the presenter told a story about a guru who told one student one thing and the next student the opposite. A third student had overheard both and asked the teacher why he was inconsistent. The teacher said that he taught what each student needed. “One was too far right, and I had to tell him to go left. The other was too far left and I had to tell him to go right in order to be balanced.”

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I Miss You Means I Love You

December 13, 2012 Read 24 comments and add your own

Missing is a common human phenomenon. I feel “missing” everyday. I miss my family while I am working. I miss my clients when I am home. I miss friends who live out of town. I miss my family who have passed on.

Missing people can feel painful at times when the longing feels huge and a loneliness creeps out of the darkness. Continue Reading →

The Power of “I can’t”

December 6, 2012 Read 31 comments and add your own

Doubt has a way of undermining almost every part of our life if we let it. In so much that doubt, or disbelief in oneself becomes truth. So many people tell me “I can’t” and they believe it with every fabric of their being. There, in fact, lies the problem. Defeat before beginning.

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Get Your Priorities Straight: Guest Blog on lisawrosenberg.com

October 23, 2012 Read 13 comments and add your own

Having trouble sorting out your priorities?

So excited to be asked to write an article on my blog buddy Lisa Rosenberg’s Blog Writings on Body Image and Identity. Lisa and I are kindred spirits, being the two therapists among all our mutli-professional bloggy friends. Lisa writes about body image and eating disorders after having survived an eating disorder as a ballerina when she was younger. I have enjoyed following Lisa’s blog as she is candid and honest. She gets down and personal allowing us a realistic view of her and her family life. I especially love how she parents with compassion (read How I Survived My Daughter’s First Week of Middle School). Also, it has been great doing the Race 2012 project together. Here is a link to Lisa’s Montclair, New Jersey therapy practice. She is so cool, I cannot wait to meet in realsies.

Here is a sneak peak of the blog post… if you likey, head over to Get Your Priorities Straight on Lisa’s blog, finish reading and leave some comment love for her.

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You Are Not Alone

October 11, 2012 Read 37 comments and add your own

Photo from www.miquotes.com

People are in such pain. And they feel so alone in it.

I know they are not alone. I’ll prove it. I am sure some of you can relate to some of these feelings. You. You are not alone!

Did you ever feel…

…like not answering the question “how are you?” since you can’t put the feelings to words, or you don’t think anyone would understand, or it is not worth their time?

…that it would be worse if you shared, because if no one understood, it would feel even lonelier?

…that someone was walking all over you and if you spoke up you’d come across as overreacting? Since this was not their “intention”, they feel like they did nothing wrong. So you hold the scream in. Continue Reading →

Defending Anger, Angrily: “I Am Not Angry!”

September 20, 2012 Read 16 comments and add your own

Today I am pleased to have a guest post by Galen Pearl of 10 Steps to FInding Your Happy Place and Staying There. I have been reading her blog for close to a year and have appreciated her honesty and compassion for herself and others. Her pearls of wisdom are never short of luster. Today she is talking about feelings…

“Feelings, whoa whoa whoa, feelings….”

Feelings, Roger Whittaker

I Am Not Angry!

Years ago, I was a very uptight person. I didn’t see myself that way. I saw myself as being in control, of myself and of, well, everything else. I never got upset, never cried, never asked for help or let anyone see if I was struggling. Of course, I never struggled. Thinking back, I never really laughed, either, not a deep belly laugh.

I had a friend who was short on tact, but always told the truth as she saw it. She observed that I was an angry person, very angry. “Seething with rage” is how she described it, along with “barely contained,” and “always on the brink of exploding.”

How did I respond to her assessment? “I am not angry!” Continue Reading →

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