I love Lisa’s blog Gems Of Delights, where she delights us with your words of love and wisdom. Today she is here telling a precious story for our eager ears. Such a delight! I am so grateful to know her! <3 Jodi
Just Doing What Kids Do
By Lisa A. McCrohan
She handed me my change. She looked at my two little ones beside me with big smiles ready to eat their special Sunday treat – chocolate donuts. “Your children are really cute,” she said, “Real cuties.”
“Thank you,” I said, looking at my two kiddos, feeling guilty we were buying donuts at the gas station instead of being at church today. Putting my Catholic guilt aside, I smiled and said, “They are little gems” and I handed my little eager ones their donuts.
The young cashier looked at me. A line was starting to form behind me. She said, “You know, no one has ever said that before. Most people say something like, ‘well, you should see them at home.’ The one that really gets me is ‘they really are brats.”
I paused with the change in my hands. I looked at my two – taking their first bites and totally in to it. My heart ached. She probably sees a hundred people a day at this busy gas station – many with kiddos. I thought of children holding a treat like mine, delighting in the chocolate they are about to devour. Or the children who are getting a break from a long car ride. Or the children who get to be a “big kid” and go with mom and dad.
I thought of how I’d feel to hear someone I love say they think I’m a brat. I thought of how I’d feel to hear someone I think the world of use those words to describe me. My heart sank. I wanted to take each child who has ever heard such things in my arms and hold them. I felt the ache of hopelessness – here I am as a psychotherapist and mindfulness teacher working so very hard to make this world a better place. And here someone tells me how often she hears such horrible things.
But then I felt a deep sense of gratitude to this young woman. Who would think – a cashier at our local gas station mirroring children’s goodness. An angel. In the right place. Getting to see hundreds of parents a week and remind them of their child’s goodness.
“They are only doing what kids do,” she went on.
“Yes,” I nodded. My children now had chocolate all over their precious faces. Her words lingered in my heart.
“They are just doing what kids do.”
Begging to hurry. Full of anticipation of chocolate. Totally in the moment. Wanting my attention. Having a hard time getting along. Getting restless after being strapped in a five-point harness.
Just doing what kids do.
As we walked to our car, I thought of how we often expect our children act like adults. I thought of the unreasonable expectations we often have of our children – on the playground, at the dinner table, after a long summer day of swimming.
I thought of how children are doing what we adults want to really be doing!
Delighting in the moment. Speaking the raw truth. Wanting to know we matter. Wanting attention from our dear ones. Wanting to eat the whole chocolate donut without guilt.
That day, I found myself allowing my two little ones to just “do what kids do” without getting worked up over the stuff that doesn’t really matter.
I found myself giving myself permission to “do as kids do” and delight in a summer Sunday morning at our neighborhood pool. We walked on our hands in the baby pool, dove for rings in the big pool, and whined about “adult swim break.” I went to bed knowing I matter – to these two little ones. And I gently kissed my two little ones, hoping they knew in their bones how much they matter to me.
Lisa is a mom, mindfulness coach, psychotherapist, and yoga teacher. Her passion is inspiring folks to live with a deeper sense of delight, compassion, and connection in their everyday lives. She blogs here: http://www.barefootbarn.wordpress.com. Her website is: http://www.barefootbarn.com .
Beautiful souls, how do you let your kids and loved ones know that they matter?