Finding balance this week may be tricky with all the activity going on. Still tons of people reading and writing about the tragedy in Connecticut, some people stressing over making the holidays special, and many more just trying to survive them after a difficult year of loss or tribulation.
What helps one person make sense of awful, may not be what another needs to hear. In a recent chakras workshop, the presenter told a story about a guru who told one student one thing and the next student the opposite. A third student had overheard both and asked the teacher why he was inconsistent. The teacher said that he taught what each student needed. “One was too far right, and I had to tell him to go left. The other was too far left and I had to tell him to go right in order to be balanced.”
I can relate, I do this all the time with the people who consult me. For example, I invite a person who blames others to responsibility, and I tell the overly guilty person that he did nothing wrong. I had been wondering lately why I was inconsistent. Why did one conversation emphasize something mattered, while in another conversation, I was equaling convincing the same thing did not matter.
Now, I understand that it is about finding balance.
As a blogger, then, I cannot know for sure what would sound healing to my readers since you all are so different. But unfortunately most of us are walking around with shabby self esteems, and riddled with self doubt, even if it is often below the surface where nobody but us knows. And many of us are living with some fear or another. So if I touch on forgiveness and trust, I can help finding balance for many.
“We don’t receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us.” ~ Marcel Proust
Bringing solace to broken hearts
When something is difficult in the context of our lives or our world, we have to look to our inner context and do something about it.
When we are responding to something outside of us that is awful or difficult, taking action dispels our fears and helps us connect through love. Non judgement-or forgiveness-bring us peace.
1. Trust is a balance to our fears. Trusting our response–the action we take in a situation–means so much more to us than what happened to us. It is ours alone to control. In this way we have the utmost control in a world we often feel is so out of control. We have to stop lamenting that we cannot control our world, and start trusting that if we can control ourself and the way we think about things, we can trust everything else. (Sometimes we have to let go of control over what is happening to us, to trust our control over our response.)
2. Connection is a balance to separation–which is the seed of all of our problems. Always chose connection. This does not mean having such empathy that another’s tragedy brings you down. Love them up to you rather than worrying down to them.
3. Love counters unworthiness. Love wholeheartedly. When the heart breaks, we can see what is truly important to us, and respond by loving fully that important part without holding back. Love helps you give generously and see outside of yourself.
4. Forgiveness counters judgment and guilt. Resentment and guilt keep us stuck. Forgiveness heals fears, separation and unworthiness. It is a package deal well worth the process.
These cover most–if not all–of what ails us.
“Adversity is like a strong wind. It tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are.” ~ Arthur Golden
How do you find balance?
If you want to check out what some big names are doing around this auspicious solstice. 12/21/12 check out Birth 2012.