Did you ever say, “I don’t even know who I am”?
What does this mean when we say this? Do we only have one identity? And our life goal is to find it? As if when we feel this way, whichever way we thought before we must have been wrong about.
I don’t think so.
I think we have many identities, there are many us’s. But when something happens that challenges even one of them, we feel discombobulated. (I used “discombobulated” in my Anxiety Schmanxiety post yesterday.) And so often it feels like that one “me” is all we were, and as if we are nothing without it.
And that belief captures so much of our attention, it becomes hard to pull our eyes away.
As a helper, I deal with atrocities on a daily basis. I hear about hard things that people go through. I feel the traumas in my bones as I listen. Despite the stories of suffering, which I acknowledge and hold in my heart. I see them, the beauty in them.
But it is hard for them to see.
“I don’t even know who I am.” People tell me. As if they’ve been misplaced.
I know, I think. You have been showing me this whole time.
You can do things, you have learned skills. Skills in managing hard people. Skills in protecting yourself. Skills in giving of yourself. Skills in negotiating. Skills in standing up. Skills in giving in. Skills in generosity. Skills in loving, showing compassion, sharing. Skills in picking yourself up. Skills in just being you.
How did you learn these? Who was with you as you learned them? What do you think about them? How have they served you?
Who do these skills say that you are?????
You are giving, forgiving.
You are kind, able, secure.
You are patient, knowledgeable, strong, loving, connecting.
You are powerful, generous, smart, good.
You are beautiful.
You are everything.
This, you can not misplace.
And me?
I am a mother, earth server, driver, worker, listener, homeowner, blogger, peacemaker, student, teacher, lover, gardener, singer, cook, cuddlier, laugher, dreamer….I am a possibilitarian.
What are you???
Please share! If you are so inclined, pass this blog to a friend who might benefit from hearing these words or share it on Facebook:
This was thought-provoking. I guess I need to stop limiting myself in terms of the things I cannot do, but rather think of the many other possibilities that I am able to do.
Irene @ Inspiration From The Little Things recently posted..The Struggle Within
And know you are both/and. I should go back in there and add some negative things!
Motivational Jodi!
Yes indeed, so often most of us tend to underestimate ourselves or we tend to think we are nothing, or have real doubts about our identity.
I guess we fail to realize the potential each one of us have. Every one of us is here for a purpose – a real meaning that we need to accomplish. We need to have that faith and confidence in ourselves that what we are here for is something worthwhile – isn’t it?
Thanks for sharing and making us realize this.
Harleena Singh@Freelance Writer recently posted..Finding Peace Within Yourself
It is helpful to live our purpose! Your comment made my day, thank you!
I just found, (literally FOUND on the sheet) a book, “Undefended Love”. Helps me to think of my Essential Self, and Our Essential Nature and the beauty within and without. Our essential nature is revealed in the connectiveness of All. The oneness we know (sometimes) from which we come and exist and the power that can give us. (look at the sun or an ant crawling by and when you feel that awe, you are feeling our essential nature.) Our essential self goes to our own core. And as I read your blog today I thought of this. We have aspects of our core that are revealed at different times in our lives. As we examine our skills, strengths, gifts, we can dig a little deeper and see which of them are tied to our core self and spirit beyond the gifts and skills that we develop for defensive reasons, (and the world is harsh so we develop many). These core aspects of our essential self are the foundational aspects we take with us everywhere. And they allow us to shine our light whenever we do. So celebrate your deep essential nature and essential self and smile! Others will feel it…
Hi Rebecca! We are so many things and all of those things are one thing. Keep shining, babe! Keep shining!
What I love best about this is how you zero in on the SKILLS involved in being your SELF. I think it’s so important, so easy to forget to gove ourselves credit.
We are on the same wavelength lately! I posted recently on identity-as-a-story,(you can see my multiple identities on that one). Today’s post on the childhood self is somewhat related.
And btw, I think I’m zeroing in on a guest-post topic for you if I can entice you. Stay tuned …:)
Lisa W. Rosenberg recently posted..Snapshot of Innocence
I almost linked to your blog about identities! Seriously, we are on the same wavelength! Can’t wait to hear about it!
This was so inspirational, Jodi, because I tend to forget about all the skills I have and roles I have taken on. I have asked “Who am I?” more than once and come up with no answer.
With so many roles, how do you integrate them?
Tina Barbour recently posted..OCD and the injury
I guess I can be multiple at once. I am multiple at once. Once you see that all is the same, you they no longer contradict. I hope this makes sense!
~~~You are everything.~~~
I like that, Jodi! Xxxx
you inspire
))
My Inner Chick recently posted..Gaga, Madonna, Bitches, & Goths
You are everything, Kim! And so full of it all!
I recently learned that we question who we are when we find ourselves in a situation where we are not accepted for who we are. If we do not conform to the current “status quo” whatever the situation we are considered suspect. When we are finally accepted for who we are in any given situation, it is then we cease to doubt ourselves. I think it comes down to self-reliance. If we feel “unaccepted” then we need to evaluate the quality of people around us and weigh their opinions against those people who we know and admire, and who know and accept us. I truly believe that if those of us who strive to be self-aware (aka Heal Now and Forever subscribers) can stay the course in such situations we can positively affect those around us. To riff off of Rebecca’s comment, we can use our inner light to bring light to those in darkness.
Kelly this was so eloquently explained. What a gift this comment is, you helped me express it. We indeed need to think about who is around us and reflecting ourself back. You are a good one to be around for me! xoxoxo A community is very crucial to staying on one’s course!
A really great way to look at it, Jodi. Who is it that our skills say we are. One of the things a favourite mentor said, “Consider that who you are is the stand you take for who you are.”
Solid gold creativity recently posted..The slow artillery of time
Beautiful! I love that! I am going to ponder over it for a while!
I’m a mother, a wife, a writer, a dreamer, an editor, a kid at heart, a runner, a reader, and well a lot of other things too.
Kelly Hashway recently posted..Cover Reveal: Whisper Falls
I know, i thought of other things all weekend that I can add to the list!
I love this. Looking at “me” from your perspective makes me feel like I can be anything and everything. It’s beautiful. It also gives one a choice. One can choose who he wants to be.
Yes, if we know we are multi storied, that which is bad in our lives have less meaning on our identity!
I am a mother, a friend, a writer, a humorist, a supervisor, a scrapbooker, an artist, homeowner, a Cook/servant to my dog, singer, dancer, and a Pollyanna. Wow, this is fun!
Monica recently posted..The Race 2012 Blogging Project Begins
It is fun, i know we are less savory things too, but the savory lists are so long and lovely!
Inspirational post.
One of the words I am using a lot these days is “narratives” – the stories we tell ourselves about who we are. When you change the perspective of your narrative, you can view yourself in a whole new light – any light you choose. So when we give value to the things we love about ourselves and tell our stories from a positive, empowering light, we truly change who we believe we are – without having to change a thing. 
LaGitane recently posted..The bravest thing I can think of
You got it! Thank you!
This is interesting. I think we all probably spend too much time trying to define ourselves that we miss out on enjoying who and here we are right now.
Bridget recently posted..Stop Judging Me And My Digital Diversions
I am so happy for you today that Dallas is back!
Wowza, Jodi. It should come as no suprise to me that I see through a new lens after coming here. I think you should add to your list “inspirer” and perhaps “spiritual optician.” I know there is much more to me than this, but for this moment, this perfectly sums up who I am…student. And I thank you, teacher.
Greg at Tiny Bit Better recently posted..A Tiny Bit of a Mirror
I like that “spiritual optician”. You made my day Greg, a tiny bit better! (A great big bit better!!!!!) Thank you for your acknowledgment. Teachers and student are interchangeable.
I believe we all know who we really are (or at least who we want to be) deep inside.
The problem is, most of us try to be who we believe others want us to be. And this is so wrong!
Being yourself is crucial for anyone looking to achieve true happiness!
Andrew recently posted..Why is “Be Yourself!” Such an Overused Tip?
Thanks for visiting, Andrew, so nice to have you here! I totally agree!