Did you ever feel overwhelmed about being ahead of yourself? Worried that you might not get better, that you can’t figure out how to love yourself, that you can’t see what others see, that it is just not accessible to you? Did you ever worry that you did not know what to do to make yourself feel better, which direction to go, and how to get there? All the while desperate to go, but hopeless that you’ll be unable to? Scared that you are not skilled enough to handle it, frustrated that you always mess up so why bother trying? Then, feel an all encompassing failure at this lack of achievement?
Did you ever feel that love, calm and happiness was not accessible to you? And might never be accessible? And because it is so devastating, you become completely panicked day after day wonder if you can handle another moment of it, deeply desiring to get in your car and drive and drive so you never have to come back and face all of this?
I have. And I was jumping ahead of myself.
So focused on the outcome and how out of reach it is, I was completely out of touch with the present moment. This is not a judgment of myself, it is an invitation to awareness. I hope to remove this block to healing pronto!
This is what I want to remember:
You don’t have to do anything, or try too hard.
You don’t have to figure out anything.
There is nothing to learn.
Nothing to accomplish.
No place to go.
You just have be. Right here. Right now. Suspended away from any negative story.
Close your eyes and float inside your body.
When you find out that there is nothing, you will open to everything.
Just be, just be, just be….
This post is a touchstone for a client who asked to remember these things this week. Do you have any messages to share with him? He will be reading it anonymously.