On Wednesday’s my followers ask questions on Facebook (Heal Now and Forever Be In Peace), which I answer in my blog on Thursday. This is a question from Liz:
Do you feel that some people have to go through a life of hurt, upset and struggle to learn from and to enable them to then pass on their experiences and wisdom to others? Are there always people who become the teachers and others the student? Many thanks. Liz x
Sometimes our spiritual lessons of the day put us in the role of student and sometimes teacher. But most of the time it is both. Our connection to others and our life’s lessons are so intertwined that the lesson in any single event (as if events can be singular) is for multiple parties. Perhaps even on different levels in different ways. Thus we are all teaching and learning from each other. Constantly. Through our healing, we do teach others and through our student’s learning we are taught.
Your question also is about the meaning of life or more about the meaning of suffering. Why do we suffer in this life? It is easier to make sense of meaning through the lens that we do it for a purpose. The most commonly understood purpose is that we are here to learn and grow, and then contribute back to others through kindness and love in all forms. Following this path can be very healing and connecting.
Liz, I believe that there is a purpose for our suffering, a choice that we can make within it to stand firmly with what we give value to, to no-matter-what put the preciousness of life first. Put love first. Put connection first. We go through hard times to figure this out. And our souls want to because this is how they develop. We probably chose this path before we came here. ( I believe this.)
It is also to figure out how to go through painful situations without suffering. Knowing that we are bigger and greater than our physical existence and experiences. Being able to transcend them. It is when we heal ourselves, though, that we heal the rest of the world. Struggle is always an invitation into a spiritual journey (spiritual evolution). But we must chose it. (We could chose to stay suffering. But I wouldn’t recommend it.)
I also hear you asking if there are people at different levels of their journey. Probably there are, but in relative reality*, only. The ones who understand more, have developed more and are leading the way. (They development through suffering, in this or in past lives.) This is not a burden but a joyous task. (*As opposed to absolute reality where we are one and just light.)
But also our minds are also connected, so none of us can heal unless all of us do. Plus if one of us heals fully, that person takes all the rest of us with him or her. Yay! So eventually, as far as my puny human brain can comprehend, we will all be healed, and if you believe that time is an illusion: we are already healed, just now stuck in linear time trying to remember. Which is why mindfulness is so important. The present moment is the only place we can experience what we already are.
We can also develop spiritually without suffering and still be a teacher. The quicker we learn the lesson, the faster it is over. (Again, time is relative, so this can be a mere moment or that moment could be or just feel like ten years.) If we don’t get it, Spirit will give us the lesson over and over.
How can I stop myself from feeling guilty of hurting someone, even if I know I had no other choice. Nikky
Perhaps you thought you hurt someone (because they expressed it–but it is their issue), or feel overly responsible for something you did not do. This can happen with someone who feels responsible for the world.
Remember, we cannot judge another’s journey. We cannot prevent anyone’s painful experiences, but (see above) the experience is their teacher. (This doesn’t mean hurt people on purpose or never help someone out!) This person might have needed to go through that experience and you were their teacher for that learning. (We must thank the people who betray us since that invites us into a new way of thinking.)
Apologize (I am sure you did) and do restitution but only if it is appropriate. Then, just believe in them, believe they can make the choices to grow from the situation. Even if they do not now, love them the ability. That is not a typo, I did mean “love them the ability.”
Most importantly, forgive yourself, fully and wholly. This situation was part of both of your learnings. Your lesson is to learn how to forgive yourself.
Sometimes we don’t feel like relieving ourselves of the guilt, because we think it is not honoring of the person hurt. You would rather be helpful. Please keep in mind, guilt is a false teacher. It cannot help anyone. You do not help anyone by being guilty. The best way to honor this person is to forgive yourself and this will help heal them and you together.
That is how we have to heal. Together. All of us intertwined as teachers and students of love and connection.
Question? Ask in the comment section here!