This is the 9th in 10 Things to do in 2012.
The concept of universal oneness is sometimes hard to wrap your brain around. We grew up with us/them, win/lose mentality. This is called dual thinking and it is the cause of so many of our problems. We feel separate from other people and this has us up to all sorts of antics: getting angry, feeling hurt, seeing injustice, not belonging, hating, fearing, acting mean, but most of all, has us feeling desperately, completely, utterly alone in the world. Even in a crowded room.
But the truth is is that we are so connected, that when we change our thinking, we can affect the thinking of everyone around us. The dual thinking is the illusion. It is like light and dark, darkness is really light. Like cold doesn’t exist, it is just the absence of heat.
The Course of Miracles teaches that when you are upset at someone for doing something, there is somewhere inside of you that you are angry at for the same thing. In other words if you forgive yourself that thing, then is ceases to bother you in the other person. Same for the opposite, if someone is upset with you, there is something in yourself you judge the same way. If you forgive yourself, that person will cease to be mad at you. Does this work? Well, it is hard to decipher, some people say it doesn’t work, but we have no way of knowing what they are still holding onto about themselves as some of it can be invisible. (It is usually invisible, which one, makes it hard to let go of and two, gives it more power.)
So, I experienced with this myself. Trying firsts with those closest to me: My children. Last year I would get so angry that they were not helpful in the morning, and dependent on me to get them ready for school. So when I noticed getting angry, I tried to forgive myself for ever not being helpful or aware of the situations around me. When I asked for this awareness, I could clearly see so much guilt from my past of being selfish in certain situations and allowing someone else to cover my slack. I forgave myself for this. I had to do this over and over and the mornings became more peaceful around our house.
I kept a list for a while of everything that was wrong with the world and forgave myself for these things. It was an amazing eye opening practice. When my clients had a problem, I would forgive myself for that problem, I was innocent in the sexual abuse, I forgive myself for being too fat, I forgive myself for not being good enough in this relationship, for getting fired, for hating myself, for being dumped, for feeling overwhelmed, etc, etc. I stay calm when people are anxious, I see the good in them when they see the bad. It might not heal them immediately, but people do mention feeling different in my presence sometimes. This usually happens when I am aware and in the absolute present moment where healing takes place. Because our minds are connected, they feels the effects of this, too. It is an amazing experience.
The same goes for judgment. I talk to people about this all the time. Many people are afraid of what others’ think. But they can only feel judgment coming from another when it triggers a judgment they already have of themselves. So if you let it go, people will no longer be able to harass you about this. This might be hard to swallow. And these self judgments might be deep in and hard to let go of. But the good news is, all you have to do is heal yourself. Since we are connected, when you heal yourself, you heal everyone around you. (Read How do I know I am done healing for more on this.)
If you are worried about someone, heal that fear in yourself, believe in them. It helps them so much more than the worry! Worry bring you both down, trust will heal you both. If you are mad at someone, think about how you are connected, turn win-lose situations into win-win situations! Bring compassion and forgiveness in and feel the freedom from emotional pain that you deserve!
We can heal the world, by just starting within our own hearts. Universal Oneness is the best news ever.
I would love to hear your thoughts! In what ways do you feel connected to people and/or animals around you?