I started this on my Facebook page: Heal Now and Forever Be In Peace. On Wednesdays, people write in some questions and I do my best to answer them.I am not making predictions or telling the future, as I believe the future is uncertain and can be altered in a moment depending on small and large decisions that we make. I answer questions about feelings, and relationships and healing, on how to think and make meaning of this crazy world that we are in. Here are some examples:
Is there an explanation or a way to control this urgent need of digging into the past and looking for the hurtful things that happened, and the need to talk about it, even when irrelevant? This was considered by my therapist as one of the symptoms of self harm?
You control it by deciding not to do it. There is a reason you are doing it, like thinking that it wold help you or validate you or something, like you’ll find something there that will help make sense of it. But most trauma is traumatic because it doesn’t make sense. Making sense can be a spiritual thing, but finding that is not in the memories, it is in the nowness. Combing horrible memories is the worst way to validate yourself (it is like defining yourself). Focus on the things you want to define you!
Thank you Jodi. I need to try harder. doing it today has caused a lot of pain and negativity, and I was sent back home.It is usually accompanied with a vision of me either drowning or “absorbed’ by the ground under my feet, while i scream looking at my friends surrounding me but who don’t see me or hear my voice.
It would be nice to fill your mind with something else, my dear!
people usually try to define their love to others. I love you like a mother loves her child, like a sister, like a teacher, like a best friend etc. Is this right? Isn’t love all of those together? I make no difference?
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Everyone defines love differently to what they can understand, or what they chose to understand. To me personally it is the same, but that answer would change to everyone you speak to. I would argue that other things make a difference, and they are something else. But only love matters, in its purest form, all the same, all God, all Light.
I just saw now that you replied because i was copying my question as I wrote about that
I am not getting emails with your comments.
Only Love matters. Thank you.
Hi Jodi…I love reading your daily comments and up until a few weeks ago, I feel I could have been writing them..I’ve always been “accused” as the the eternal optomist because I love my surroundings and my life…what’s not to love? I had a beautiful 85 year old Mom that died one year ago this week, that had an incredible influence on me, my siblings, my kids, grands, etc. And I was dealing with that…three weeks ago, I had a triple bypass-very unexpectedly…routine dr. appt. for bp and chol. meds showed some blockage…so I am sittin here, having some scary moments when my heart is just racing (like a cartoon when the heart beats outside the body!) and I find myself so scared..it’s a new emotion and one I am not happy about…Hopefully, the medical pros can correct the new heart flow with a medication…But, in the meantime, I am just not happy with this scared stuff…for the first two weeks after surgery, I was the model patient..I was up walking quickly, went home after five days, etc…and now I’m “stressed”…an emotion I work so hard to push from my life…I’m 63, love life, adore my family and being outside…I photograph my trees as often as my babies…started yoga in my twenties and even spent a weekend at an ashram with Swami Satchidananda in the late 70′s…I’m not sure why I am telling you all this..Not my style..but, I love your dailies and feel comfortable after reading your bio…Peace, smiles and stars…
Sandy Dearborn
Dear Sandy! Thanks for telling me all of this. I think that along with the scariness, you wanted to show me all the lovely things about you! I am so glad you would want to! The scared stuff doesn’t define you and is temporary. Perhaps a plan of what to do when it comes, as far as exhaling slowly or something, reminding yourself this is just a physiological experience. It cannot hurt you. A mantra might be good, either in sanskirt or English. This will pass Sandy, but it is also an opportunity to relate to you body different, an invitation to love yourself on new levels! Love that beautiful heart of yours! Celebrate how it has loved you, loved others, given you strength, fed your muscles and organs for 63 years! I worked with someone with the same experience after surgery, and we did a meditation pulling light through her. Also, I would lay my hands on her and this would settle to rapid heartbeat. That you so much for reading my dailies and my blog.
Love to you for the speedy recovery. If you want to talk to this other woman, let me know she is on Facebook and might want to sure her experience.
Love,
Jodi
I did not realize that my reply back to you had to go thru here…I replied via email, so apologies for this being a few days late….Your response was so heart felt…You are truly gifted and I so appreciate your kind words….I am sitting here smiling, looking out my window at the clouds over the trees, thinking how amazing and quick our lives (and our moods) change. I am putting all my positive energies into my newly repaired heart and I know it will take care of me for many more years.I have so much left to do and so many memories to make… you made my day with your response a few days ago. Stars and smiles to you…
Hi Jodi,
have you been working on a new book? (energy dynamics, narrative approaches, story, living and relating)
Best wishes
JK
Thanks JK! Yes, that perfectly describes it! How did you know?
Is the feeling of “missing someone” connected with the person you are missing or a need you have that this person can give? Is it a selfish/wrong emotion?
Nikky44 recently posted..The Child that is Me
Well, try to get in the habit of allowing everything instead of thinking it is wrong. You cam look at it different ways. Missing someone is an act of love. It is an expression that they make you feel happy! It also can be an acknowledgement of what you deserve, acknowledgement of your own worth. A Looking at it these ways it is beautiful. Longing for someone might feel unpleasant however, because it may be hard to be content with now since you want a different way. This might be painful. Some might criticize that it is attachment. But I’d rather just see it as love. Then I can stay connected. Detaching doesn’t mean unconnected! We all need connection, belonging, love. Not selfish, ever! Hope this answered you!
Thank you Jodi. I’m so happy I came back to the page as I didn’t get a notification of your reply. This is happening a lot now I don’t know why. I love the way you explain it. It is exactly what It means to me. It is Love and not a blame to the other person. It’s a way of saying I love you, not a way of saying you are not giving enough. Thank you <3
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even the unpleasant and painful side of it IS beautiful <3
nikky44 recently posted..ViVa La Musica
How do you let go of feeling anxious?
How do you achieve letting go of anxious feelings. I feel as if my anxiety is getting better but I find myself searching for those anxious feelings inside. I’m so used to feeling anxious that it feels strange to not have those feelings.
Hi Theresa. I know what you mean. It feels almost normal. Our egos don’t like change too much, even though it is best for us. You don’t need the feeling anymore. We also like to analyze ourselves, so we search for “exactly” how we feel. We give it energy because that is what we have always done. When you catch yourself, just smile and remember you don’t need to do that., without judging yourself or anything. I am so glad for you that it is better! Great job, their is just residue.
Love,
Jodi
my physcologist has always been saying to me is christopher you just have to let it go! I do a lot of roominating and all or nothing thiking and mind reading! He also says i care to much what people think . those are my main irational thougghts. what is the differance between rational and logical thoughts?
Our ego makes can manipulate anything to sound logical, even if it barely holds water. if it is a judgment or a fear you can be sure the ego is involved and it is hard to be right minded. Meaning the ego tends to control the thinking: i.e., “I need to hold onto this,” “that person hates me,” “I have to figure this out.” All the ego. it’s not real. We are so afraid to let go but there is such bliss in it, find out what fear or judgment keeps you holing on and let goooo! I do have an article that might be helpful..http://healnowandforever.net/2011/12/07/let-it-go-let-it-go-let-it-go-o-o-o-o/. Good luck!