How about a little perspective?
In the midst of the chaos of a bad conflict, we often have a thin, finite view of the situation. It may appear unfair, unjust, and infuriating. We want to be “right” about this and would give anything to be acknowledged for our rightness. And most of the time we are disappointed because the other person we are in this tangle with feels the same way. Not being acknowledged for our rightness, we disconnect and feel extremely lonely, perhaps betrayed and sometimes even unloved. Wanting to be ‘right’ is not a happy place to be.
Often people in this situation, take a step back and see the situation from a ‘bigger picture.’ Or ‘from above the battlefield.’ And from this new perspective, the whole situation looks different. We can see the other person’s view and feelings. We can be more understanding about why they said what they said. And most importantly, we make much different choices from up here about how to respond. We can stay connected and relate to each other- a much warmer and happier place.
Even when horrible situations are not necessarily conflicts (i.e., loss) we can go above the situation and see the what and whys of it. People always say: there is a reason for everything but maybe I won’t know that reason for a while. I say, “Why not find out now?” Just ask. I never used to pray this way. I never asked. But now I understand that is the whole point of this life- to understand it and learn. And so I ask for a better understanding. I ask to see the situation the way God sees it. And this has made such a difference.
I can show you how I do it. Listen to Day 10′s Meditation.